I once briefly panicked, convinced I had a case of head lice. Upon further investigation and Googling, my fears were alleviated. No, head lice were not immobile black dots, encircled in gelatinous milky spheres. And no, head lice were definitely not vanilla flavored. Apparently, somewhere during the course of daily meal prep, I had somehow gotten chia seed pudding in my hair.
It’s an occupational hazard of the family cook, occasionally being covered in food. All moms of toddlers know this, but it’s a still a step up from the boogers and poop you were covered with during their infancy. My kids are teenagers now, but I miss those tender sweet years, so why not feel young again, and slather some beauty foods on my body now?
I first got into beauty foods during my massaged kale salad phase. Every day, I would wash a bunch of curly kale, wash my hands, and then go to town massaging one half an avocado into a creamy green mess. Mind you, I am a little obsessive about having clean hands, but this was the only salad good enough to warrant exception to my clean hand policy.
A squeeze of lemon juice, salt, and pepper, throw on some pumpkin seeds, sliced carrots, mandarin orange segments, and you had my favorite lunchtime meal. In wintertime, I took it up a notch with some pomegranate arils, but the best thing about this salad in wintertime was the effect it had on my dry hands.
After licking off the most incessantly clingy but yummy kale bits from my fingers, I would rinse my hands with water to reveal glowing smooth skin! So nice was this unexpected side affect that I may have smeared some kale salad on my face on days I was home alone. We work from home people can do stuff like this, because no one is looking.
There are other beauty superstars besides avocado hiding in your pantry. Coconut oil for moisturizing, salt and sugar scrubs, cinnamon for blush, apple cider vinegar as hair rinse, arrowroot starch as face powder, olive oil as makeup remover, and the versatile food face mask. Pretty much anything you would ever eat in a breakfast porridge can be smeared on your face with good results.
Use your imagination or do a quick web search for inspiration. There is little risk of side effects, other than someone asking you why you smell like whatever you secretly smeared on yourself when no one was looking. As a runner and endurance athlete, I’m used to asking myself if I smell, so this really doesn’t hurt my feelings anymore.